Chapter 27: Tis the Season

 Chapter 27: Tis the Season

BPOV

            Convincing Victoria to come clean about every dirty secret she and her boyfriend had shared was no small feat. Back and forth we countered arguments. In the end, with Dr. Cullen’s help, she consented to speak with the police—my father, really. I was both delighted and afraid. The fear was nothing new seeing as how I was always afraid these days. It left me snappy and irritable. Poor Edward, dealing with my ups and downs and loving me just the same. St. Edward.

            I tried to be strong for him, for me, for all of us.

            The night before I was plagued with nightmares, and awoke in a cold sweat at the sound of a branch at my window. It left me jumpy and paranoid the next day. I tried to distract myself with preparations for Thanksgiving. Apparently that still didn’t work.

            At the Cullen’s that night, Alice was in full-blown distraction mode for the both of us. It had been a few days since the two of us girls had any time together and as much as I loved and needed to be with Edward, I also needed time with Alice. It was humorous that just a few months before her perpetually sunny and chatty disposition annoyed every fiber in my being and now, she was an integral part of my psyche. I needed her sunshine.

            Weeds played on the TV as she and I picked at the last of the chips and guacamole we had just devoured.

            “Jasper thinks they’ll find something, anything, to corroborate Victoria’s statement. At least, that’s what we’re hoping for,” she admitted as she licked the remaining avocado from her fingers.

            “Yea, but don’t you think that is being a little naive? Yes, I thought that she should tell the cops everything she knows, but now I’m not so sure. How do we know that the information will be useful? Aro could still find me, he could hurt Charlie, so many things could go wrong!”

            “Something could go right,” she pointed out.

            “One thing. One thing could go right,” I explained pessimistically.

            “Sure, but it’s the only thing we need. Charlie’s a good cop and a hard worker. They want this just as much as we do.” Angel Alice. Thank god for the Cullens. I gave her an uncertain smile.

            “You’re right. Of course, you’re right. I’ll try to think more positively about it, Ok?” I offered in return.

            “Deal. Now, lets ‘borrow’” she air-quoted, “a couple of Esme’s cheaper bottles of wine that she’d never miss and get ourselves a good wine-drunk. What do you say!?” She giggled. Luminous Alice.

            A bottle and a half later, our conversation blessedly took a turn to a more teenage girl sleepover fashion.

            “I just love him, ya know? And our sex, god Bella, is incredible! I mean, Jasper’s dick is like a magical gift to my yoni. I never in my wildest imagination thought sex could be so good! Is that how it is with you and Edward?” She gushed, downing the remaining sauvignon blanc in her glass before pouring herself more.

            “Well… I mean, his tongue and fingers are magical, but we haven’t had sex yet. I’m still a virgin,” I muttered into my glass, cheeks on fire.

            “Oh shit! I just assumed…” she apologized.

            “It’s ok. We’ve only been dating just over two months…although it feels like longer. It feels like a lifetime.” I contemplated.

            “Yea, it has been a crazy past few months. I’m glad you’re here,” Alice grinned, her eyes twinkling.

            “Me too.” And I really was.

            “So… when do you think you two will, you  know.” Now Alice blushed as a pale rose tinted her cheeks.

            “I couldn’t say for certain,” I contemplated. “When the time is right? No, that sounds cheesy as shit, uhm…I don’t know! Edward is a gentleman that way! He never pushes, always has whatever I want or need at heart. My last boyfriend was… nothing like that. Looking back, I don’t think I even liked him that much. He was more of a friend than a boyfriend.”

            “How long did you date your last boyfriend?”

            “Two years.”

            “And you never had sex in all that time!?” Obviously Alice was astonished, I would be too. Jasper and Alice were dating just over two years before I moved to Forks, and had been having sex since their six month anniversary. They were like that. Alice had told me that there were rose petals scattered and candles lit. Alice had left hints for weeks about the location, what they would do before, where they would dine, all of those Alice-like things.

            “Of course not. He wasn’t the one. He wasn’t the guy that made my heart sing and my soul flutter. He was just Jake,” I shrugged.

            “Jake, huh? Mm. His loss. My brother may have been a jackass before you came along, well he’s still sort of an ass, but I have never seen him more alive since we met you. And you, my god! That first night I was anxious for you. You seemed so alone in a crowd, and very hesitant. Now, your spirit, your fire, it keeps us going!”

            “What? You guys keep me going when I feel like cowering in a corner and giving up.”

            “You don’t see yourself clearly. Bella, you’re a tough cookie, but sweet. People are drawn to you because you have this radiant energy. Even when you were a little child of darkness two months ago, people still wanted to be near you, with you, like you, liked by you. You have a good heart and try as you may to disguise it, it still calls to people. I’m not surprised your Jake stayed around so long even after you denied him for two years,” Alice surmised. Clever little pixy.

            “That’s a bunch of bullshit, Al,” I laughed, shaking my head.

            “Whatever Bella, believe me or not, doesn’t matter! It’s still true,” she insisted. I rolled my eyes in response. After the third bottle, Alice’s soft puffing snores sounded from her side of the bed. Rolling over on mine, I reached for my cell to drunkenly type a text to the last person I went to bed thinking about, and the first person that entered my mind in the morning.

            I love you. I sent, and promptly fell asleep.

.::.

            5:47

            Damn it! I mentally cursed. Did I ever get to have a full night’s rest anymore? Before my hangover could set in, I chugged two glasses of water and three advil.

            5:56

            There was no getting back to sleep now. I tip-toed out of Alice’s room and down the hall to Edward’s. His sleeping form looked peaceful on his bed. The comforter was pulled down to his waist, and his naked torso gleamed in the light from the hallway and disappeared as I closed the door behind me. Padding to his bed, I crawled to his side, contouring my body to his. He held me in his sleep and I let him. I lay there for over an hour, enjoying his warm, amber scent. Before long I knew that I needed food and to start this day.

            Getting eggs, milk, butter, and blueberries from the fridge, I noticed Esme perched at the kitchen door as I set my items on the counter.

            “Good morning, Bella,” she greeted warmly as she made her way to the coffee pot.

            “Morning,” I shyly smiled. “I thought I would make a big breakfast for everyone to tide us all over until dinner.”

            “Good idea,” she replied from the jar of coffee beans. “I’ll help.”

            “I’ll cut up some fruit!” Alice called from the doorway before dancing her way into the kitchen.

            8:33

            Time was passing slowly. Edward made it more passable, but it felt as though every minute of that day was spent wondering and worrying about Charlie. Tick, Tock, Tick, Tock, the clock fucking mocked.

            5:44

            Dinner was… emotional, delicious, and delightful, but still no Charlie. Not a peep. When Edward wasn’t paying attention, I snuck away to check my phone. I placed a call or two to my dad, but they went to voicemail. Charlie wasn’t one for texting, either. Alice, that little angel and her card-playing ways proved to be a marvelous distraction. When it was time for dessert, I nearly had a heart-attack. It was the unofficial appointed time for Charlie to come over, to have hopefully wrapped up for the day and when Esme had started serving the plates I feared the worst. Then, that blessed doorbell sounded and I knew I was saved.

            6:37

            In Charlie’s arms, I knew that it would be ok, and when he said that he had succeeded, I released a breath that I had been holding since Halloween.

            “Thank you for the tip Carlisle, it made all the difference,” he shook Carlisle’s hand. “I can’t tell you all much, but we did find some corroborating evidence from James Smith’s apartment from our witness’ statement. We made some arrests, so we got ‘em. Looks like it’s enough to keep them in jail until trial,” he explained.

            I released my hold on Charlie and looked up. He gave me a satisfied grin.

            “The pies look great, Bells!”

            “Thanks,” I replied, leading him towards the table. It was the best part of my day.

.::.

            Charlie left an hour after dessert to head back to the station. Apparently there were intricacies with the case that he needed to take care of and he likely wouldn’t be home that night. After bidding Emmett and me to stay the night again, we said our goodnights.

            Edward and I found ourselves tucked away in the basement after everything was cleaned and put away. It had been over twenty-four hours since the two of us found ourselves alone and awake.

            “Told you so,” he interrupted after a few minutes watching TV without talking. He was lying on the couch and I was half on top of him. His fingers wove through my hair, down my back, and up again.

            “Told me what?” I leaned up to gauge his expression.

            “I told you it would work out, I told you Charlie would catch the bad guys,” he gloated.

            “Oh well aren’t you Mr. Omniscient. Congratulations,” I teased. “Thank you,” I offered after a beat.

            “For what?” His brow quirked, bringing a glint to piercing there. Reaching up, I stroked it in admiration. I loved that stupid thing.

            “For keeping me going, for saving me… everything. So you win, you were right,” I acquiesced.

            Cupping my chin and leaning his head down, he kissed my forehead. “I do not even know how to respond to that, er, you’re welcome?” he chuckled. We laced our fingers and held tight.

            With the stress and trepidation we had previously endured, the next few weeks flew by in a frenzy of near normalcy. School, work, Edward, friends. Charlie was absent more often than before, busy with the biggest case Forks had ever seen, ever. He and his task force were trying to gather as much evidence to give to Clallam County Courts. Through the weeks we discovered that they had found Aro’s, Caius’, and several others of those under their employ’s fingerprints on the evidence they had collected from James’ house on my birthday. Victoria had been sent to some treatment center in Minnesota—apparently it was the best of the best—to stay there before trial, which was slated to start sometime in the early spring. Life was moving forward and it felt so indescribably good.

            The Friday school got out for winter break—a week before Christmas—everyone was getting in the spirit. Alice had some last minute shopping to finish—I had yet to start—so Rose, Alice, and I went out to Port Angeles for the evening. Arriving around dinner time, we stopped at a little home-town Italian place to eat first. With Alice, and even Rosalie, one needed to keep up their strength for shopping. We wound our way through small boutiques, crossing off our items and people on our lists. When I had one person left, I knew I was in trouble.

            “I still don’t know what to get Edward,” I complained, worrying I’d never find the right gift. I had bought him some nicotine gum as a joke, having needed Rosalie to actually complete the transaction for me because of my age. His guitar also needed new strings, and the Hollywood Undead album had just come out, but none of that screamed I love you. I thought of the stereotypical girlfriend go-to gifts. Already enthralled with the way he smelled, cologne was not an option for me; he didn’t wear watches, he like purchasing his own clothes, and Edward certainly was too young for cuff-links. This would be the first gift I had ever given him, and I wanted it to have meaning.

            Passing by an antique store, a silver frame caught my eye. Though it had a turn-of-the-century feel to it, it was nothing special per say. Upon closer inspection I saw that it was engraved. Ever thine, Ever Mine, Ever Ours. Beethoven had written that in the closing of one of his love letters to his unknown Immortal Beloved. Beethoven, Edward’s secretly favorite of all musicians. In his piano bench, Edward kept a worn and well-used book of his compositions and songs. When I read those words, I knew I was going to be giving this to Edward. My mind flashed to a photograph Alice had given me from my birthday of just Edward and me. It was a perfect match.

            Emmett and I combined our powers of persuasion and effectively convinced Renee and Phil, only after checking with dad to see if he minded, to stay in Forks for Christmas. It would be the first Christmas in nearly ten years that we would be spending with both of my parents. Eschewing the guestroom-less house we lived in, Renee and Phil opted to stay in a “charming B&B” not ten minutes from us. Being around my mother again when Charlie was so preoccupied with work was a comfort. Emmett and I found ourselves enjoying her for who she was—the fun, loving, erratic, hare-brained, scheme-filled woman with a heart of gold—rather than who we wished she was: motherly, doting, and responsible.

            They day after they had arrived, Renee took me aside for a chat while we were making lunch. Emmett was out with Rose, Phil was “getting a workout in,” and Charlie was still at work. It was just the two of us.

            “So, my baby is in love. I thought it’d be years before I saw those stars in your eyes,” she beamed, her grin bigger than I had seen since before the accident. My cheeks instantly felt hot.

            “Well, you’ll be meeting him tomorrow,” was all I could say in reply. I missed him terribly as it had been two days since I last saw Edward.

“You’re doing so well, baby girl! I’m sad to admit that Forks has been good for you, healing.”

            “Aw, mom… I told you I’d be ok. I really needed out of Phoenix,” I insisted. She was getting sappy, something she did well. Wrapping her arms around me, she hugged me for as long as I could let her. Shrugging her off a minute later, I gave her a tentative smile. “I’m sorry I left you,” I admitted.

            “Bella, you didn’t leave me because you were leaving me, you left a difficult situation, and in the end you were right. It was far better for you to be here rather than in Arizona where the constant reminder of what you no longer were had plagued you. I see that now. I love you for your strength, and am so happy that you are my daughter. My beautiful, intelligent, loving, quirky, responsible daughter.”  This time, I really smiled.

            “I love you, mom.”

            “I love you more, baby. Now, let’s talk boys: are you being safe?”

            “MOM!” I screamed, effectively cutting her off and ending this impossibly uncomfortable conversation.

.::.

           

            The Cullens had invited us and the Hales over for an “extended family” Christmas Eve party. I was surprisingly calm with the introduction that was about to take place. For the first time in my memory, all of the facets of my life were effortlessly clicking into place. The before me, and the after me. Edward, my mom and Phil, Emmett, Charlie, Alice—everyone I cared about was in the same place at the same time. Not since before my parent’s divorce could I remember feeling so fulfilled with my family, which now seemed to only multiply.

            Charlie drove in his cruiser separately from the rest of us –just in case there was an emergency.  Big parties made him nervous, and I saw right through his excuse but couldn’t fault him for that.  Renee vibrated with excitement in a very Alice-like manner and Phil seemed to roll with the punches as usual.  He really was well-suited for my mother. Edward was opening my door just as Phil put the rental car in park –where the hell did he come from!? I was swept up in a hug before I could even utter a hello.

            “I missed you,” he whispered into my hair. It had been days since we had seen each other as I was being kept busy with the boundlessly energetic Renee, and he with visiting his grandparents in Seattle.

            “I missed you too,” I conspiratorially whispered back. I was released after a chaste kiss on the lips.  Edward turned and straightened to meet my mother and her husband. Before I could fully get out the introduction, Renee jumped the gun and launched herself at Edward’s torso, being a few inches shorter than me. Edward chuckled; he had been warned.

            “Hello Mrs. Dwyer, it’s nice to finally meet you,” he said to the small, lively woman still clutching him.

            “Renee! Call me Renee!! Don’t make me feel old! Oh Edward, it’s so good to finally meet you—the person that puts that smile on my baby’s face!” She exclaimed, finally releasing my boyfriend. Phil watched with amusement, knowledgeable with his wife’s energetic ways.

            “If you insist, Renee,” he agreed without missing a beat and stuck out a hand to Phil next to her. “Mr. Dwyer, it’s nice to meet you too.”

            “Just call me Phil,” he nodded, smiling. Charlie drove up in the cruiser at that moment, and after a quick handshake-hello between him and Edward, we were ushered inside. Emmett, then, was caught up in his own greeting with Rose and one that was certainly in danger of upgrading from its PG-13 rating. My mom, ever the one to never know the emotion of embarrassment, nudged him aside to say hello to Rosie-girl, as she so affectionately called her after Rosalie’s first trip to Phoenix.

            Soon enough the rest of the Cullens and Hales descended upon us in the foyer, and greetings, handshakes, and hugs were given in multitude. Standing next to each other, seemingly gossiping like the teenager Alice was, my mother and Alice looked to me like they were the ones that could be mother and daughter. Though they looked nothing alike, their demeanor was uncannily identical, save Alice’s more accountable and well-planned ways.

The atmosphere was warm and jolly as everyone felt perfectly at ease with one another. In my head, I had been using the term perfect so often that I hardly recognized myself. Eggnog, Cullen Christmas Punch, and appetizers were held in the large and beautiful family room just off the kitchen before dinner in the formal dining room. Through it all, Edward was inseparably by my side, holding my hand, playing with my hair, stroking my back. It felt right. He would sneak chaste kisses—ones that even Charlie could abide—on my hair, forehead, cheek, and once on the nose when he thought no one was particularly paying attention to us.

With the Hales, Cullens, and my mixed family, it felt as though we had been doing this for years. I was inundated with visions of the future: pulling up to the house with mine and Edward’s children bursting from the car to see their cousins and grandparents, Edward’s arms full of presents, mine full of food I had prepared. All of us singing carols around the piano as Edward played, little Eddie at his side pressing keys and making discordant sounds, trying to be helpful. It was a vision my seventeen-year-old self was not prepared for. I was thinking about middle-aged life before I even gotten to be young and wild. I had never thought of something like that before and seeing Christmas Future was wonderfully startling. It even brought a tear to my eye. Ever aware of me, Edward wiped it away immediately with a sympathetic grin.

            “I have something for you, come with me,” he tugged me from the living room before I could respond. If the rest of our families noticed our absence, they said nothing. My boy with the arresting verdant green eyes led me to his room where a few small, wrapped gifts sat waiting on his couch.

            “I do too,” I mumbled, shyly clasping the bag of his presents in front of me.  Giving gifts made me nervous.  His palm crept under my chin so my eyes were forced to meet his.

            “What’s wrong, Sugar? Everything ok?” His piercing greens probed, etched with sudden worry.

            “Mm, yea…” I mumbled, nodding. “I just want you to like your presents,” I exhaled.

            “I love anything you give me,” he stated in complete sincerity, leading me to the couch.  “I want you to open yours first,” he insisted.  Slowly and carefully, I tore open the red and green wrapping of the largest, rectangular one. I was met with red and gold leather binding.

            “Special edition The Great Gatsby!?” It was my favorite novel, definitely top three. It was the only book I loved that I didn’t own, but had been holding out for a special copy.  I had spent hours upon hours combing through estate sales, garage sales, and flea markets in Phoenix searching for a copy that spoke to me, and I had never told Edward that. I looked at him with disbelieving, brimming eyes. “How did you know?” A mischievous smirk crept over his lips.

            “It was missing from your collection,” he said simply, shrugging.

            “Edward!” I shoved his shoulder gently, “this isn’t a random paperback copy you got from Borders, this is a leather-bound Special Edition with…” I flipped open the cover page to see his neat, meticulous writing, “a very meaningful inscription. This is not a five-dollar used book, Edward. This is an expensive, special edition copy of my very favorite book. How. Did. You. Know?” I couldn’t help the swell of love for this wonderfully thoughtful, copper-headed guy in front of me that bubbled in my chest, but I had to know.

            “I have my ways,” he shrugged again, his smile growing.  I quirked my eyebrow with expectation.  “I called your mom, ok? Shit, Bella, trying to get you a meaningful gift is like searching for the Lost fucking Arc or some shit,” he teased. “I wanted to get you something meaningful, ok?” he sighed.  I knew I exhausted him; I was ruining this perfect gift. I was so fucked up sometimes. I just couldn’t believe the amount of effort and thoughtfulness that he put into my gift. I felt undeserving.

            “I know what you mean,” I muttered sheepishly, retrieving the wrapped frame I had gotten him from the bag. “Here.” I sat back on my heels, anxious. “And the book? It’s perfect Edward. Perfect,” I smiled and his face lit up with genuine euphoria. “Thank you,” I murmured against his cheek.

            Edward took his offered present with careful reserve and peeled back the layers of wrapping nearly as slowly as I had. The silver of the frame reflected brightly in his eyes as the already arresting grin on his face grew larger. “Bella,” he nearly whispered, greens connecting to my browns, wide with some overwhelming emotion. “I love it,” he said simply before passionately launching at me. Our lips connected before his body had me pinned to the couch under him. His hands roamed my body freely after his frame and my book were safely stowed on the coffee table beside us.  Minutes passed quickly before we broke for air; and I swear to god, if I hadn’t been in such need for oxygen I would have had sex right there with him, right then on that couch.

            Hovering over me on his forearms, Edward searched my face for an answer to a question he was internally debating.  I thumbed his kiss-swollen lips, biting my own and relishing in the sweet, dull pain it elicited. I wanted to be ravished, just as much as Edward wanted to ravish me. For surely that was the question he was debating, right? Should he? Should we, right here with our entire families waiting down below? It was all I could think about with my heart bumping hormone-filled blood to the very sensitive, swollen parts of my body that longed for his touch and more.

            “Do you have any idea how much I love you?” he finally asked once our breathing had returned to near-normal. The sound of his voice made me ache in those parts I desired him most. Blinking, I fought to make my own thoughts coherent enough to be translated into words.

            “I know how much I love you,” I forced out with my lust-scratchy voice, “and if it’s anything like the way you love me, then I know how soul consuming it is.” My hips bucked against his against my own accord, searching for friction I so desperately needed. Edward chuckled and I felt my cheeks stain with blood. How did I even have enough to spare? I was pooling with desire.

            “Sugar,” his velvet poured over me. “I want to show you how deeply, and depravedly at times, I love you,” he paused to wink, and oh what that wink did to me, “but I do not quite think that now is the right time…” I would have felt such extreme shame and rejection had I not truly known that this was not, in fact, the right time for us to consummate our love. That time was swiftly approaching, but had not yet arrived.

            “I know,” I pouted lightly. “Sometimes I can’t help my physical reactions to you.” It was the most naked of truths. Hm, naked.

            “And I for you,” he admitted, stroking the sides of my face, gently cupping it between both hands. “I just want you to know how much I love and respect you. I’ve never, ever, felt anything remotely like this for another person and it’s baffling and overwhelming. I don’t want to fuck it up, and I’ll do my damndest not to. Just know that my life is yours. You are my soul.” The intimacy of his words as he cradled me while still on top of me was nearly overwhelming in the most satisfying of ways. It was the best Christmas present he could have gotten me… in addition to the Special Edition copy of The Great Gatsby. I felt more naked than I had been while fooling around, more vulnerable than I had been while awaking in a hospital bed disoriented, and yet more alive than any moment of my life prior and I was utterly comfortable.

Being this emotionally connected was as natural as breathing to me.

            He had shared my darkness with me and I with him, and now he was sharing his light.  It was breathtaking.

.::.

Chapter 26: Fucking Thankful

Chapter 26: Fucking Thankful

EPOV

            I almost couldn’t let Bella get out of the car. The fear that she would be taken from me was overwhelming. It consumed all of my rational thought, but Bella was right. Why would they think we had anything to do with Victoria being in the hospital? They wouldn’t look for her there. So there I stood, outside Victoria’s room drinking black crappy hospital coffee and flicking my Zippo open and closed, because it wasn’t like I could light up a cigarette in the middle of the goddamned unit. Bella thought it would be better for Victoria if she went in alone, so I was stuck outside trying to hear scraps of their conversation. Anytime someone passed me in the hallway I stared daggers at them until they had gone. Every passerby was a threat.

I was losing my fucking mind.

            “…but if you tell the police, they can’t come after you! They’ll be in prison!”

            Like the eavesdropper I was, I attempted to listen closer to the door that stood ajar.

            “I didn’t know you knew Victoria,” a man’s voice startled me.

            “Shit!” I exclaimed as I spun around and found myself face-to-face with my father. “Dad! …hi. Uhm, yea Bella works with her.” Relieved that it was just my father, I leaned back against the wall, sipping my coffee trying to regain a sense of calm.

            “I see.” My father’s crystal blue eyes were unreadable due to years of practice. “Well considering she only just told us her name, I’m concerned.”

            “Dad, shit’s a little fucked up with Victoria—.”

            “I’m aware Edward, and if she doesn’t get help and get clean she is going to die,” he admitted.

            “Yea, well if she doesn’t come clean to the cops, we’re all going to die,” I muttered into my Styrofoam cup.

            “What!?” Dr. Cullen growled, because the look on his face certainly wasn’t fatherly. Oh GODDAMNIT! I choked on my coffee; that did not just come out of my mouth.

            “Nothing. Christ! Calm down, dad” I couldn’t even look at him, but the linoleum floor wasn’t much better.

            “Edward, tell me what is going on, now! You kids have been acting oddly since Halloween, what the hell happened? What have you done this time? Are you selling drugs!?”

            “No, goddamnit! I’m not fucking selling drugs! It’s complicated, dad.”

            “I am a board-certified surgeon and have my Ph. D. in cellular biology, I think I can handle complicated, Edward,” he retorted pointedly, raking his hand through his short blonde locks.

            I leaned toward the open crack of Victoria’s door, “…but I’m not strong enough, Bella.” Huffing out my lingering frustration, I resigned my resistance.

            “I don’t even know where to begin,” I confessed to my feet, slumping further into the wall.

            “Try.”

            “VictoriaisJames’girlfriendandsheknowsabouthisdrugbusinessandhisbossisafterBella.” I muttered again to my feet.

            “Edward I’m serious!”

            “Well, fuck, dad!”

            “Watch your mouth! Do I need to take you to my office to talk about this—”

            “No!” I stopped him, “I can’t leave Bella. Ugh! Fine… Victoria is James Smith’s girlfriend…” Realization dawned on his pale face. Everyone in the small town of Forks knew James Smith, and if they did not before, they did now. Before he could voice his opinions or the conclusions he likely jumped to, I decided to get it all out, well… at least as much as I could allow.

            “And,” I continued, “she happens to know about James’ drug connections. Bella and I are trying to convince her to testify against the other guys involved with James.”

            “I see,” was all he said. I could see the wheels in his head turning, churning out an explanation as to how all the pieces of the puzzle fit together.

            “Dad, Victoria needs rehab, right?”

He nodded.

“She also needs to disappear after she gives her testimony against James and all that…”

Again, my father nodded.

“I would like to use some of my trust fund money from Nana and Papa to send her to a really good Rehabilitation Facility out of state.”

The shock on my father’s face said it all. His jaw hung slack as words failed to materialize out of his mouth. Sputtering, he coughed to attempt to regain some sort of composure.

“You want to do what, Edward?” He managed. “That is the most selfless thing… you’ve ever done. Why?”

“I’m not fucking selfish!” I spat. His eyes narrowed.

“Language, son! I never said that you were selfish, but that is the most selfless thing you’ve ever done. I still do not understand why.”

“It would benefit more than just one person. It helps Victoria, Chief Swan… the whole town, really. I just want those guys off the streets where they can’t hurt people anymore.” That was the most truthful thing I could have said without explaining, in great detail, everything that had transpired and all of the fucking shit we’ve gone through and all the shit we still had yet to face. I needed him to understand the importance of this without him knowing every facet. I couldn’t betray Bella by giving him the particulars, and she came fucking first in this mess. I wish I could have told him that.

“I’ll see what I can do,” he declared after contemplation. “When did you grow up into such a fine man?”

“I, er, uhm… well I…” I sputtered and shrugged my shoulders, uncomfortable with the question.

He gave me a sidelong glance, studying something I wasn’t sure was there. His face melted from its previously stern state into something almost loving.

“She has been good for you, Edward,” he praised before side stepping me and pushing his way into Victoria’s room.

Aghast, I stood in the hallway against the wall blinking for longer than intentioned and then quickly followed him closely behind. His white lab coat billowed after his thin body and quick pace.

“…I don’t know… Oh! Dr. Cullen!” Victoria cried as we entered her private room.

“Victoria, if you do not kick this nasty little cocaine habit of yours, you will die. I told you earlier and I will tell you again, if you do not stay sober all of your organ systems will collapse, and you will die. And, as I understand it, you have some very important information about an illegal drug distribution group that has made Forks its basis of operations. It is paramount that you tell the police this information. I encourage it, but not only that, I have more to offer. If you promise to tell the police all you know, I will personally fund your highest-quality rehabilitation retreat where you will be perfectly safe from outside harm. If you do not comply with these terms I have lain out, I will have to turn you out of Forks Community Hospital now that you are not at a current risk of a stroke, do you understand?”

My father had never been so directly tough-love in all my life. It freaked me the fuck out. Maybe my dad was on my side with all of this. Maybe he did understand.

“So, I will be out on the street if I don’t go to rehab?” she questioned. Her tightly controlled expression gave away nothing. Bella’s own face was just as unreadable.

“I suppose so, unless, you have other means of getting yourself clean.” She didn’t. We all knew that. Without another word, he turned and left the room just as ominously as he had entered.

Upon his exit, Bella was the first to speak, but only after we all had a few moments to digest what just occurred.

“Vicky….” She attempted. Bella’s face set in determination as she tucked a vibrantly red streak of hair behind her ear. “We both know Dr. Cullen’s option is the only one you have… this way you won’t have to wonder if and when they found you… they wouldn’t! Those facilities very strictly monitor who goes in and out. You would be safe and healthy. Please don’t ignore this incredible opportunity for you.”

“I can’t take Dr. C’s money—”

“You won’t. It’s mine,” I interrupted. If she was going to get herself involved in this, she needed to know the truth and how much Bella and I were invested in this. The money was nothing to me, but Bella’s safety was everything.  “He had nothing to do with you going to rehab… we do. I’m paying for everything.” Her jaw slacked as she lost her resolve. I could see that whatever Bella had said to her while I was in the hallway was starting to sink in.

“Vicky, it’s like I said… we can protect you,” Bella insisted as she took a step closer to Victoria’s bed. Bella had no idea that I was going to offer this to Victoria and yet, she trusted me, or someone, to come through and for that I loved her, if possible, a little bit more.

A tear leaked out of the corner of Victoria’s eye as she considered her options. Confusion was the most frequent of all the rapidly shifting emotions that crossed her face.

“Ok,” she exhaled shakily, “I’ll do it.” Victoria’s chest lifted as the weight of the decision released the strangle-hold it had on her. Relief flooded my body as I walked towards Bella and wrapped my arms around her from behind.

“You’re saved,” I whispered in her multiply studded ear, holding her close.

“Because of you,” she countered.

.::.

            My dad called Forks’ police soon after Bella and I left the hospital. Emmett, Rosalie, Bella, and I pretended to watch a movie in their living while waiting for Charlie to come home. The wait was agonizingly slow, and not even Pineapple Express was enough of a distraction as the minutes ticked by. Quarter to ten, Charlie’s cruiser pulled into the driveway. Four pairs of eyes honed onto the front door awaiting any sort of news.

            “Looks like we found a break in the case,” Charlie exclaimed as he began removing his gear once inside the house. “A witness is willing to testify against those druggies we got involved with back in September.”

            “Wow, that’s great Dad!” Emmett ventured, the only one brave enough to speak.

            “Oh yea! Just like your show Law& Order, huh Bells?” Bella’s cheeks instantly stained pink. What’s this about Law & Order? I wondered, and why did it make Bella blush?

            “Yea,” was all Bella replied, her body unconsciously pressing closer into my side. Charlie took no notice.

            “It’s a good thing the Cullens invited us over for Thanksgiving, because I’m going to be really busy the next few days with work stuff. Hopefully I’ll be able to stop by for dessert?” he sheepishly asked.

            “Chief Swan, you are welcome at any time,” I assured. “Too bad you and Jasper are flying to Houston tomorrow, Rose. Bella is in charge of the desserts,” I teased, eliciting the famed Rosalie scowl.  Charlie shifted his weight uncomfortably as he looked at the four of us, not wanting to interrupt and yet not wanting to leave us alone either.

            “Well,” he awkwardly interrupted after a few minutes, “I better hit the hay so I can get an early start tomorrow. Good night ‘all! I know you don’t have school tomorrow, but don’t stay up too late.” We all called our own goodnights as he retreated up the stairs.

Once we heard the click of his bedroom door closing, we collectively breathed in relief. It felt safer with Charlie being home, despite the fact that the next few days would be so up in the air.

            I was fucking petrified something would go wrong.

            I felt a squeezing pressure on my hand and was met with Bella’s gaze. Staring into the charcoal lined chocolate, further framed with thick black lashes, my anxiety eased a degree.

            “It’s going to be ok,” she insisted, nodding lightly. I brought my fingers to her ivory cream skin of her cheek, stroking softly the few freckles that were scattered about.

            “I know,” I agreed. “It has to be.” With feather light touches, she absentmindedly played with the ring in my eyebrow as the corner of her lips lifted in a small half-smile. She brought her lips to mine in a chaste, reassuring kiss.

            “So…..” Emmett interrupted as our kiss separated, making a slight awkwardness settle in the room. “How about some of those brownies, Belley?” And then it lifted as quickly as it came.

            The next day I drove around Bella’s block three times, searching for anything out of the ordinary, before searching the woods behind her house. I was taking every fucking precaution. Inside the house, Bella looked as every bit as frantic as I felt. Flour caked her cheeks, the hair she had swept up into a very messy bun at the crown of her head, and the apron I had bought her from Anthropologie. Alice had had the stupid catalogue out lying out on the kitchen counter. Upon seeing the green apple pattern, I thought of Bella and bought it. Once again, she looked fucking edible in it.

            “Oh, hey Edward,” she huffed as she blew her fly-away bangs from her eyes, holding onto a pie plate, turning about face and setting it on the counter. Jose Gonzales’ Down the Line drifted from her iPod dock on the table. Don’t let the darkness eat you up…he sang to no one in particular. Approaching her from the side, I took her chin in my hand and brought her to my lips. Her anxiety melted as her shoulders lowered into a more natural and relaxed position.

            “Hello, Love,” I replied. “Can I help with anything?” An amused smirk formed on her pouty lips as one eyebrow arched, giving me her answer. “Alrighty then, I’ll just sit at the table and watch, if you’re sure.”

            “I’m sure,” she giggled, turning back to a bowl holding what looked like chocolate mousse. As I sat, I withdrew the lighter from my pocket, flicking it open and shut, watching the flames alight and extinguish. Flick, burn, snap. It had become habit instead of smoking as of late. Bella wasn’t a fan of cigarettes.

            “So… what are you making?” Flick, burn, snap.

            Without even a peak in my direction, she listed, “French Silk, apple, and pumpkin pie.”

            “Thanksgiving is not until tomorrow, Sugar.” Flick, burn, snap. Flick, burn, snap.

            Eliciting a glance and fiery eyes, Bella retorted, “Some things need to be made the night before, like the French Silk and Pumpkin pies and the apple pie dough. Plus, tomorrow I’ll be busy helping Esme cook. There’s so much to do!”

            “I see.” Flick, burn, snap.

            “Stop flicking that goddamned lighter,” she grumbled into the mixing bowl. Snap.

            “Well, fuck, Bella. You’re not the only one with nerves that are shot!” Almost as if the Universe was trying to prove my point, the front door burst open. Bella shrieked, dropped the bowl and spatula onto the counter, and whirled around clutching her heart. I was by her side in a flash, just in time to see Emmett stroll through the front door.

            “Saw my lady-love off at the airport and—whoa, what the fuck? Belley, you ok?” Although Emmett wasn’t the brightest sack of meat, even he saw the sheer terror in Bella’s eyes. “Edward, what’s going on,” he addressed me when Bella merely cocked her head from one side and then to the other.

            “Startled us, is all.” I answered right before Bella’s grip on her heart and my arm slacked as she crumbled to the floor in a pile of herself. Emmett jerked to move for her but my outstretched arm stopped him. I shook my head, telling him to go. Emmett’s humor couldn’t put Bella’s pieces back together in this situation: she needed me. I would be her fucking glue even if it took everything I had left in me.

            Immediately I joined her on the floor, pulling her to my lap. Her arms easily snaked around my neck as she gripped onto me for dear life. Her body shook as her head cradled itself into the nook of my neck. “Shhh” I cooed into her neck, rocking our bodies from side to side. Five songs on the iPod later, she sniffled and drew her head back.

            “Edward,” she croaked eyes leaking, “I can’t take this much stress anymore. I’m so scared all the time.” I ran my hand over her cheeks, trying to dry the salty tears that never ceased to flow.

            “We’re all fucking scared, baby. All of us.”

            “I’m scared of everything, though. Doors opening, floor boards creaking, the rain at my window. Everything is so uncertain right now, and therefore even more dangerous. I’m terrified Charlie is going to get hurt or killed and it will be my fault—”

            “Stop. It’s not your fucking fault, it’s James’ or Aro’s… but it sure as shit isn’t yours! Everything that we’ve done has been a reaction to things they have done. We’re innocent. You’re fucking innocent. In fact, you were unconscious when we turned James in. Please, Sugar, stop beating yourself up over this. We cannot control it; we can only control how we react to it.”

            Bella looked at me and merely blinked; her face expressionless. It was unnerving that for the first time I couldn’t read her emotions on her face.

            “You should take your own advice, Edward,” she finally replied, hinting at something I didn’t understand. When I didn’t say anything, she continued. “…with your mom.” It felt like I got sucker-punched in the gut. Neither of us had brought up my mother in weeks and it burned, and then I remembered Bella’s words to me that last time we spoke of her: life is pain. Life is out of our control. But we have to go on living it. You’re not responsible; you were a fucking child, an innocent. Remembering this, I realized that I truly had released my guilt over my mother’s death and in turn had been inspired by Bella’s words.

            “It was sort of yours to begin with,” I noted. Surprise colored her face.

            “How?”

            “After Halloween when we were discussing my mother, you told me I was innocent. It wasn’t my fault.”

            Bella’s own comprehension seeped into her skin, relaxing her rigid posture. That was the thing about us, we knew exactly what needed to be said to break through our barriers, our walls, our protective shields. She was my light in the darkness, and I was the raft she clung to when drowning.

            I took her in my arms again and held her impossibly close smelling her lilac and sugary scent. “You are my everything, don’t you know that,” I whispered. “I will die before they, or anyone else, hurt you.”

            “Promise?” she murmured into my shoulder.

            “Promise,” I assured.

.::.

            I convinced both Bella and Emmett to stay over, hesitant to leave them, okay her, over night without the security of knowing Charlie would be there. Unfortunately, my plan wasn’t well-fucking-thought out because Alice stole Bella away the moment we got to my house and I was stuck with Emmett. Ok, well being one of my best friends, it was still a good night.

            I awoke earlier than usual, needing to see my Sugar. I found Bella, my mother, and Alice all fluttering about the kitchen, the smell of bacon assaulting my nose.

            “I thought today was all about the dinner?” I observed as I entered the sacred room. Three pairs of eyes shot at my direction as invaded their space.

            “This is to tide you three men over until we women finish our masterpiece of a Thanksgiving meal, which will be served promptly at four-thirty,” Esme educated, scrambling some eggs. Bella smirked and turned back to her pancakes on the stove. Approaching her from behind, much like the day before in her own kitchen, I wrapped my arms around her waist, resting my chin on her shoulder. Lilacs, cinnamon, and the frosting of Bella’s skin assaulted my nose, causing a growing problem in my pants. Shit.

            “Mornin’ Sugar,” I ghosted into her neck, eliciting goose-bumps to erupt on her flesh. I could get used to this, finding my Bella in the kitchen everyday for the rest of our lives. Images of a future I never knew I wanted flashed in my mind. Aprons, breakfasts, lazy Sundays spent with books and music, children running around. As suddenly as it came to me, I knew that it was what I wanted with Bella and I would do anything to make sure we got our happy future; one free from secrets and unknown pasts.

            “Good morning Edward,” she returned, kissing me on the cheek, “pancakes will be done in a few minutes.” Knowing that I had been dismissed, I slumped onto the stool at the counter next to where Alice was chopping fruit, and shifted my semi so she couldn’t see.

            “Mornin’ Ally,” I greeted, popping a grape in my mouth.

            “Edward.” She nodded to the cutting board. Alice had a strange look on her face, one almost of, no… could she be fucking jealous? And then like the ass I was, I actually thought about what Alice was going through.

            “Sorry Jasper isn’t here to spend Thanksgiving with us,” I offered, shrugging my shoulders. With Bella, being emotional and raw was as natural as breathing seeing has how she was most of my soul, but with others, even Alice, it was a struggle. A sad smile tugged at her lips.

            “Thanks, but it’s ok. I mean, with everything that is going on it would be nice to be with him today, but I’m still with my family,” she confessed in a low tone, her smile deepening into something less painful-looking. I nodded because I knew. “We’ll all be ok in the end, so that’s comforting,” she added as an after-thought.

Throwing one arm around her shoulder, I hugged my sister. At times it was hard to remember that Bella and I were not the only two living with this dangerous secret. It was impossibly difficult on all of us and it shamed me that I had forgotten that. I could be such a bastard sometimes.

Emmett galloped into the kitchen soon after, the aroma of the food undoubtedly wafting through the house. My father joined everyone at the breakfast table when it was time. Though it made eating difficult, I never relinquished Bella’s hand throughout the meal. I think she needed it just as fucking much as I did. She, after all, was what I was most thankful for.

Renee called in the early afternoon to wish her children well on this holiday. Although she had never been the motherly type, her love gushed for her two angels, as she had said. Renee especially got the waterworks going when she said that she was thankful Bella survived. Even Emmett grunted and looked away to hid his own emotional reaction to Renee’s speaker-phone confession.

We had yet to hear from Charlie.

Bella kept busy cooking and baking in the kitchen throughout the day along with the other women-folk, but every once and a while I’d catch her looking at the door with poorly masked trepidation and anxiety. Both my father and I filtered from the football game in the living room to watching our ladies make their magic. Mouthwateringly fragrant foods tantalized my nose and stomach. It was torturous foreplay for the meal to come.

“Can I help?” I offered after being teased with watching the food preparation for the previous hour. Esme’s reaction caught my attention first. It was a wide-eyed smile with astonishment around the edges. Bella simply snorted a laugh and shook her head. You’d just get in the way, I could practically hear her think.

“Thank you for your offer dear, but I think we’ve got it covered,” Esme placated, kissing my forehead.

“Ok,” I shrugged, and continued to watch and drift through the house.

I didn’t get any time alone with my Sugar, but the day wasn’t about just the two of us, it was about our family. When the time finally came, the six of us sat around the dining table, a hopeful empty chair left out for Charlie. Esme, in true nostalgic motherly fashion, insisted upon each of us saying what we were most thankful for.

“I’ll begin,” Emmett started. “I’m thankful for family and friends, I’m thankful for my beautiful and sexy Rose, I’m thankful to have my Belley-Bear back in my life. Hands down, she is the best thing that’s happened all year. And I’m super thankful for that big, juicy-looking Turkey whose leg is calling my name!” Typical.

Alice and my father’s thanks were much more eloquent but just as heartfelt.

“Uhm, my turn I guess,” Bella started after Carlisle had finished. She shifted in her seat before continuing. “I’m thankful that I’ve finally come home. I’m thankful that I’m alive and that I’ve found someone worth living for,” Bella paused to look at me with a shy smile. “Thank you Edward. I’m thankful for Emmett, for the being the best brother a person could hope for. I’m thankful for Alice, she is the sister I never had. I’m thankful for everyone new and old that I’ve come home to, because that’s what you all are: you’re where my heart is.” Once finished, she stared longingly at the empty chair next to her.

 How could I follow that?

“I’m thankful for Bella,” I continued without pause, “because she’s the best thing that’s ever happened to me, and not just this year,” I shot Emmett a good-natured, yet challenging glance. “And for my family. Esme, ma, I’m thankful that you didn’t give up on me, because you prepared me for meeting the amazing person seated to my right. Thanks Alice for putting up with my bullshit, and still wanting to be my sister. Thank you, dad, for being a great father and model of an honorable man. So… yea.”

Silence.

Unknowingly, I went to reach for the lighter in my pocket when Bella stilled my hand. Looking up finally, I saw Esme’s face dripping with tears. Shit, I hadn’t wanted to make anyone cry. I was such a jackass. Before I could apologize for whatever I had said wrong, Esme took her turn.

“I’m thankful for Bella because she has been the best thing to happen in my son’s life. She showed him how lucky he was to have two loving mothers with double the love, and how to be a man. Bella, you’ve changed him for the better. I look at him and am awed at how thoughtful, respectable, and openly caring he has shown himself to be. He is becoming the man he was supposed to be.” Esme’s thanks were unexpected. “I’m thankful for Carlisle, the love of my life, for blessing me with this beautiful life and beautiful family, and I’m very thankful for my little angel, Alice. I love you all…Let’s eat.”

I know I’m not fucking perfect and I’m certainly not a perfect gentleman. I can be a moody prick from time to time, but hearing that from Esme was… unreal. I had been trying so goddamned hard to be better… for Bella. I had to be responsible for someone other than myself, and even myself for the first time. It seemed as though it didn’t matter about all the fucked up shit I’ve done in the past, the girls I messed around with, the amount of alcohol I consumed, the fights I got in, the drugs I did… after Bella showed up, it didn’t matter. She redeemed me, and Esme saw it, of all people. My heart clenched.

Everyone seemed to move at once, reaching for one thing or another: Bella for her cheesy green-bean casserole, Alice for her mashed potatoes, Carlisle for the silly cranberry sauce he liked so well, Emmett for the turkey of course, and Esme for the salad. I sat, stunned. How could people eat at a time like this? Well… nevermind. That was what today was about, right? Being fucking thankful.

When I reached for the rolls, Esme lightly grabbed my hand with a gentle squeeze and released it.

Heavy day.

From that interaction on, the dinner became joyful. Yes, members of the family were missing, but the easy chemistry our blended family had was healing in a sense. It had even seemed that Bella forgot her father’s absence in that time and the reason for it.

With the dinner dishes cleared, the meal digesting before dessert, Alice brought out a deck of cards, insisting that a couple rounds of Hold ‘em was the perfect palate cleanser. That damn little pixy won three hands in a row.

“You’re fucking cheating, Al!” I cursed, throwing down my hand. “That’s three in a row! Where are you stuffing your cards? This is bullshit!”

“Edward,” her laughter tinkled, “You’re the dealer!” Bella had not stopped laughing the entire game. The lines of worry around her eyes had long-since dissipated.

“Who’s ready for dessert?” Esme called, coming out of the kitchen.

“ME!” Emmett shouted the loudest as he jumped up, nearly knocking the coffee table over.

Bella and I were the last to leave the family room. Her eyes were tense, and posture wary. Grabbing her hand, she stopped in her tracks.

“He’ll come,” I assured. Her expression tightened with apprehension.

“How can you be sure? What if he got shot? What if Aro eluded the cops? What if Vicky never gave her statement? There is so much that could go wrong, Edward,” she admitted in defeat.

Her fears were my fears, as well as the rest of us involved. Bella had been strong all day, and now as the day was coming to a close and she had yet to even get a wayward text from her father, she was approaching her breaking point.

“Because we have to trust that it will. Your father is a capable police chief. No news is good news right?” I wasn’t sure myself, but for her sake I had to be. “Come on, let’s just get some of that delicious pie you wouldn’t let me eat yesterday,” I winked. She nodded and we joined the rest of the family.

As Esme served the delicately-cut slices of pie, having shunned Emmett from even touching a knife, a knock sounded at the front door. Six pairs of eyes trained on the direction of the front door as Carlisle stood to answer it. I pulled Bella closer, needing her as she undoubtedly needed me.

“Charlie! Come on in, just in time for dessert,” we heard Carlisle usher in Chief Swan. A collective sigh of relief was had by Alice, Emmett, Bella and me. As soon as Bella could untangle the present reality from her twisted nightmares, she was out of her chair and in Charlie’s arms in seconds.

“Dad,” I heard her muffle into his police jacket. His arms awkwardly wound themselves around his daughter’s clinging form. Physical affection was not Charlie’s forte.

“So… how’d it go?” Emmett hesitated as he approached his father and sister.

“We got ‘em,” Charlie beamed.

.::.