Chapter 27: Tis the Season

 Chapter 27: Tis the Season

BPOV

            Convincing Victoria to come clean about every dirty secret she and her boyfriend had shared was no small feat. Back and forth we countered arguments. In the end, with Dr. Cullen’s help, she consented to speak with the police—my father, really. I was both delighted and afraid. The fear was nothing new seeing as how I was always afraid these days. It left me snappy and irritable. Poor Edward, dealing with my ups and downs and loving me just the same. St. Edward.

            I tried to be strong for him, for me, for all of us.

            The night before I was plagued with nightmares, and awoke in a cold sweat at the sound of a branch at my window. It left me jumpy and paranoid the next day. I tried to distract myself with preparations for Thanksgiving. Apparently that still didn’t work.

            At the Cullen’s that night, Alice was in full-blown distraction mode for the both of us. It had been a few days since the two of us girls had any time together and as much as I loved and needed to be with Edward, I also needed time with Alice. It was humorous that just a few months before her perpetually sunny and chatty disposition annoyed every fiber in my being and now, she was an integral part of my psyche. I needed her sunshine.

            Weeds played on the TV as she and I picked at the last of the chips and guacamole we had just devoured.

            “Jasper thinks they’ll find something, anything, to corroborate Victoria’s statement. At least, that’s what we’re hoping for,” she admitted as she licked the remaining avocado from her fingers.

            “Yea, but don’t you think that is being a little naive? Yes, I thought that she should tell the cops everything she knows, but now I’m not so sure. How do we know that the information will be useful? Aro could still find me, he could hurt Charlie, so many things could go wrong!”

            “Something could go right,” she pointed out.

            “One thing. One thing could go right,” I explained pessimistically.

            “Sure, but it’s the only thing we need. Charlie’s a good cop and a hard worker. They want this just as much as we do.” Angel Alice. Thank god for the Cullens. I gave her an uncertain smile.

            “You’re right. Of course, you’re right. I’ll try to think more positively about it, Ok?” I offered in return.

            “Deal. Now, lets ‘borrow’” she air-quoted, “a couple of Esme’s cheaper bottles of wine that she’d never miss and get ourselves a good wine-drunk. What do you say!?” She giggled. Luminous Alice.

            A bottle and a half later, our conversation blessedly took a turn to a more teenage girl sleepover fashion.

            “I just love him, ya know? And our sex, god Bella, is incredible! I mean, Jasper’s dick is like a magical gift to my yoni. I never in my wildest imagination thought sex could be so good! Is that how it is with you and Edward?” She gushed, downing the remaining sauvignon blanc in her glass before pouring herself more.

            “Well… I mean, his tongue and fingers are magical, but we haven’t had sex yet. I’m still a virgin,” I muttered into my glass, cheeks on fire.

            “Oh shit! I just assumed…” she apologized.

            “It’s ok. We’ve only been dating just over two months…although it feels like longer. It feels like a lifetime.” I contemplated.

            “Yea, it has been a crazy past few months. I’m glad you’re here,” Alice grinned, her eyes twinkling.

            “Me too.” And I really was.

            “So… when do you think you two will, you  know.” Now Alice blushed as a pale rose tinted her cheeks.

            “I couldn’t say for certain,” I contemplated. “When the time is right? No, that sounds cheesy as shit, uhm…I don’t know! Edward is a gentleman that way! He never pushes, always has whatever I want or need at heart. My last boyfriend was… nothing like that. Looking back, I don’t think I even liked him that much. He was more of a friend than a boyfriend.”

            “How long did you date your last boyfriend?”

            “Two years.”

            “And you never had sex in all that time!?” Obviously Alice was astonished, I would be too. Jasper and Alice were dating just over two years before I moved to Forks, and had been having sex since their six month anniversary. They were like that. Alice had told me that there were rose petals scattered and candles lit. Alice had left hints for weeks about the location, what they would do before, where they would dine, all of those Alice-like things.

            “Of course not. He wasn’t the one. He wasn’t the guy that made my heart sing and my soul flutter. He was just Jake,” I shrugged.

            “Jake, huh? Mm. His loss. My brother may have been a jackass before you came along, well he’s still sort of an ass, but I have never seen him more alive since we met you. And you, my god! That first night I was anxious for you. You seemed so alone in a crowd, and very hesitant. Now, your spirit, your fire, it keeps us going!”

            “What? You guys keep me going when I feel like cowering in a corner and giving up.”

            “You don’t see yourself clearly. Bella, you’re a tough cookie, but sweet. People are drawn to you because you have this radiant energy. Even when you were a little child of darkness two months ago, people still wanted to be near you, with you, like you, liked by you. You have a good heart and try as you may to disguise it, it still calls to people. I’m not surprised your Jake stayed around so long even after you denied him for two years,” Alice surmised. Clever little pixy.

            “That’s a bunch of bullshit, Al,” I laughed, shaking my head.

            “Whatever Bella, believe me or not, doesn’t matter! It’s still true,” she insisted. I rolled my eyes in response. After the third bottle, Alice’s soft puffing snores sounded from her side of the bed. Rolling over on mine, I reached for my cell to drunkenly type a text to the last person I went to bed thinking about, and the first person that entered my mind in the morning.

            I love you. I sent, and promptly fell asleep.

.::.

            5:47

            Damn it! I mentally cursed. Did I ever get to have a full night’s rest anymore? Before my hangover could set in, I chugged two glasses of water and three advil.

            5:56

            There was no getting back to sleep now. I tip-toed out of Alice’s room and down the hall to Edward’s. His sleeping form looked peaceful on his bed. The comforter was pulled down to his waist, and his naked torso gleamed in the light from the hallway and disappeared as I closed the door behind me. Padding to his bed, I crawled to his side, contouring my body to his. He held me in his sleep and I let him. I lay there for over an hour, enjoying his warm, amber scent. Before long I knew that I needed food and to start this day.

            Getting eggs, milk, butter, and blueberries from the fridge, I noticed Esme perched at the kitchen door as I set my items on the counter.

            “Good morning, Bella,” she greeted warmly as she made her way to the coffee pot.

            “Morning,” I shyly smiled. “I thought I would make a big breakfast for everyone to tide us all over until dinner.”

            “Good idea,” she replied from the jar of coffee beans. “I’ll help.”

            “I’ll cut up some fruit!” Alice called from the doorway before dancing her way into the kitchen.

            8:33

            Time was passing slowly. Edward made it more passable, but it felt as though every minute of that day was spent wondering and worrying about Charlie. Tick, Tock, Tick, Tock, the clock fucking mocked.

            5:44

            Dinner was… emotional, delicious, and delightful, but still no Charlie. Not a peep. When Edward wasn’t paying attention, I snuck away to check my phone. I placed a call or two to my dad, but they went to voicemail. Charlie wasn’t one for texting, either. Alice, that little angel and her card-playing ways proved to be a marvelous distraction. When it was time for dessert, I nearly had a heart-attack. It was the unofficial appointed time for Charlie to come over, to have hopefully wrapped up for the day and when Esme had started serving the plates I feared the worst. Then, that blessed doorbell sounded and I knew I was saved.

            6:37

            In Charlie’s arms, I knew that it would be ok, and when he said that he had succeeded, I released a breath that I had been holding since Halloween.

            “Thank you for the tip Carlisle, it made all the difference,” he shook Carlisle’s hand. “I can’t tell you all much, but we did find some corroborating evidence from James Smith’s apartment from our witness’ statement. We made some arrests, so we got ‘em. Looks like it’s enough to keep them in jail until trial,” he explained.

            I released my hold on Charlie and looked up. He gave me a satisfied grin.

            “The pies look great, Bells!”

            “Thanks,” I replied, leading him towards the table. It was the best part of my day.

.::.

            Charlie left an hour after dessert to head back to the station. Apparently there were intricacies with the case that he needed to take care of and he likely wouldn’t be home that night. After bidding Emmett and me to stay the night again, we said our goodnights.

            Edward and I found ourselves tucked away in the basement after everything was cleaned and put away. It had been over twenty-four hours since the two of us found ourselves alone and awake.

            “Told you so,” he interrupted after a few minutes watching TV without talking. He was lying on the couch and I was half on top of him. His fingers wove through my hair, down my back, and up again.

            “Told me what?” I leaned up to gauge his expression.

            “I told you it would work out, I told you Charlie would catch the bad guys,” he gloated.

            “Oh well aren’t you Mr. Omniscient. Congratulations,” I teased. “Thank you,” I offered after a beat.

            “For what?” His brow quirked, bringing a glint to piercing there. Reaching up, I stroked it in admiration. I loved that stupid thing.

            “For keeping me going, for saving me… everything. So you win, you were right,” I acquiesced.

            Cupping my chin and leaning his head down, he kissed my forehead. “I do not even know how to respond to that, er, you’re welcome?” he chuckled. We laced our fingers and held tight.

            With the stress and trepidation we had previously endured, the next few weeks flew by in a frenzy of near normalcy. School, work, Edward, friends. Charlie was absent more often than before, busy with the biggest case Forks had ever seen, ever. He and his task force were trying to gather as much evidence to give to Clallam County Courts. Through the weeks we discovered that they had found Aro’s, Caius’, and several others of those under their employ’s fingerprints on the evidence they had collected from James’ house on my birthday. Victoria had been sent to some treatment center in Minnesota—apparently it was the best of the best—to stay there before trial, which was slated to start sometime in the early spring. Life was moving forward and it felt so indescribably good.

            The Friday school got out for winter break—a week before Christmas—everyone was getting in the spirit. Alice had some last minute shopping to finish—I had yet to start—so Rose, Alice, and I went out to Port Angeles for the evening. Arriving around dinner time, we stopped at a little home-town Italian place to eat first. With Alice, and even Rosalie, one needed to keep up their strength for shopping. We wound our way through small boutiques, crossing off our items and people on our lists. When I had one person left, I knew I was in trouble.

            “I still don’t know what to get Edward,” I complained, worrying I’d never find the right gift. I had bought him some nicotine gum as a joke, having needed Rosalie to actually complete the transaction for me because of my age. His guitar also needed new strings, and the Hollywood Undead album had just come out, but none of that screamed I love you. I thought of the stereotypical girlfriend go-to gifts. Already enthralled with the way he smelled, cologne was not an option for me; he didn’t wear watches, he like purchasing his own clothes, and Edward certainly was too young for cuff-links. This would be the first gift I had ever given him, and I wanted it to have meaning.

            Passing by an antique store, a silver frame caught my eye. Though it had a turn-of-the-century feel to it, it was nothing special per say. Upon closer inspection I saw that it was engraved. Ever thine, Ever Mine, Ever Ours. Beethoven had written that in the closing of one of his love letters to his unknown Immortal Beloved. Beethoven, Edward’s secretly favorite of all musicians. In his piano bench, Edward kept a worn and well-used book of his compositions and songs. When I read those words, I knew I was going to be giving this to Edward. My mind flashed to a photograph Alice had given me from my birthday of just Edward and me. It was a perfect match.

            Emmett and I combined our powers of persuasion and effectively convinced Renee and Phil, only after checking with dad to see if he minded, to stay in Forks for Christmas. It would be the first Christmas in nearly ten years that we would be spending with both of my parents. Eschewing the guestroom-less house we lived in, Renee and Phil opted to stay in a “charming B&B” not ten minutes from us. Being around my mother again when Charlie was so preoccupied with work was a comfort. Emmett and I found ourselves enjoying her for who she was—the fun, loving, erratic, hare-brained, scheme-filled woman with a heart of gold—rather than who we wished she was: motherly, doting, and responsible.

            They day after they had arrived, Renee took me aside for a chat while we were making lunch. Emmett was out with Rose, Phil was “getting a workout in,” and Charlie was still at work. It was just the two of us.

            “So, my baby is in love. I thought it’d be years before I saw those stars in your eyes,” she beamed, her grin bigger than I had seen since before the accident. My cheeks instantly felt hot.

            “Well, you’ll be meeting him tomorrow,” was all I could say in reply. I missed him terribly as it had been two days since I last saw Edward.

“You’re doing so well, baby girl! I’m sad to admit that Forks has been good for you, healing.”

            “Aw, mom… I told you I’d be ok. I really needed out of Phoenix,” I insisted. She was getting sappy, something she did well. Wrapping her arms around me, she hugged me for as long as I could let her. Shrugging her off a minute later, I gave her a tentative smile. “I’m sorry I left you,” I admitted.

            “Bella, you didn’t leave me because you were leaving me, you left a difficult situation, and in the end you were right. It was far better for you to be here rather than in Arizona where the constant reminder of what you no longer were had plagued you. I see that now. I love you for your strength, and am so happy that you are my daughter. My beautiful, intelligent, loving, quirky, responsible daughter.”  This time, I really smiled.

            “I love you, mom.”

            “I love you more, baby. Now, let’s talk boys: are you being safe?”

            “MOM!” I screamed, effectively cutting her off and ending this impossibly uncomfortable conversation.

.::.

           

            The Cullens had invited us and the Hales over for an “extended family” Christmas Eve party. I was surprisingly calm with the introduction that was about to take place. For the first time in my memory, all of the facets of my life were effortlessly clicking into place. The before me, and the after me. Edward, my mom and Phil, Emmett, Charlie, Alice—everyone I cared about was in the same place at the same time. Not since before my parent’s divorce could I remember feeling so fulfilled with my family, which now seemed to only multiply.

            Charlie drove in his cruiser separately from the rest of us –just in case there was an emergency.  Big parties made him nervous, and I saw right through his excuse but couldn’t fault him for that.  Renee vibrated with excitement in a very Alice-like manner and Phil seemed to roll with the punches as usual.  He really was well-suited for my mother. Edward was opening my door just as Phil put the rental car in park –where the hell did he come from!? I was swept up in a hug before I could even utter a hello.

            “I missed you,” he whispered into my hair. It had been days since we had seen each other as I was being kept busy with the boundlessly energetic Renee, and he with visiting his grandparents in Seattle.

            “I missed you too,” I conspiratorially whispered back. I was released after a chaste kiss on the lips.  Edward turned and straightened to meet my mother and her husband. Before I could fully get out the introduction, Renee jumped the gun and launched herself at Edward’s torso, being a few inches shorter than me. Edward chuckled; he had been warned.

            “Hello Mrs. Dwyer, it’s nice to finally meet you,” he said to the small, lively woman still clutching him.

            “Renee! Call me Renee!! Don’t make me feel old! Oh Edward, it’s so good to finally meet you—the person that puts that smile on my baby’s face!” She exclaimed, finally releasing my boyfriend. Phil watched with amusement, knowledgeable with his wife’s energetic ways.

            “If you insist, Renee,” he agreed without missing a beat and stuck out a hand to Phil next to her. “Mr. Dwyer, it’s nice to meet you too.”

            “Just call me Phil,” he nodded, smiling. Charlie drove up in the cruiser at that moment, and after a quick handshake-hello between him and Edward, we were ushered inside. Emmett, then, was caught up in his own greeting with Rose and one that was certainly in danger of upgrading from its PG-13 rating. My mom, ever the one to never know the emotion of embarrassment, nudged him aside to say hello to Rosie-girl, as she so affectionately called her after Rosalie’s first trip to Phoenix.

            Soon enough the rest of the Cullens and Hales descended upon us in the foyer, and greetings, handshakes, and hugs were given in multitude. Standing next to each other, seemingly gossiping like the teenager Alice was, my mother and Alice looked to me like they were the ones that could be mother and daughter. Though they looked nothing alike, their demeanor was uncannily identical, save Alice’s more accountable and well-planned ways.

The atmosphere was warm and jolly as everyone felt perfectly at ease with one another. In my head, I had been using the term perfect so often that I hardly recognized myself. Eggnog, Cullen Christmas Punch, and appetizers were held in the large and beautiful family room just off the kitchen before dinner in the formal dining room. Through it all, Edward was inseparably by my side, holding my hand, playing with my hair, stroking my back. It felt right. He would sneak chaste kisses—ones that even Charlie could abide—on my hair, forehead, cheek, and once on the nose when he thought no one was particularly paying attention to us.

With the Hales, Cullens, and my mixed family, it felt as though we had been doing this for years. I was inundated with visions of the future: pulling up to the house with mine and Edward’s children bursting from the car to see their cousins and grandparents, Edward’s arms full of presents, mine full of food I had prepared. All of us singing carols around the piano as Edward played, little Eddie at his side pressing keys and making discordant sounds, trying to be helpful. It was a vision my seventeen-year-old self was not prepared for. I was thinking about middle-aged life before I even gotten to be young and wild. I had never thought of something like that before and seeing Christmas Future was wonderfully startling. It even brought a tear to my eye. Ever aware of me, Edward wiped it away immediately with a sympathetic grin.

            “I have something for you, come with me,” he tugged me from the living room before I could respond. If the rest of our families noticed our absence, they said nothing. My boy with the arresting verdant green eyes led me to his room where a few small, wrapped gifts sat waiting on his couch.

            “I do too,” I mumbled, shyly clasping the bag of his presents in front of me.  Giving gifts made me nervous.  His palm crept under my chin so my eyes were forced to meet his.

            “What’s wrong, Sugar? Everything ok?” His piercing greens probed, etched with sudden worry.

            “Mm, yea…” I mumbled, nodding. “I just want you to like your presents,” I exhaled.

            “I love anything you give me,” he stated in complete sincerity, leading me to the couch.  “I want you to open yours first,” he insisted.  Slowly and carefully, I tore open the red and green wrapping of the largest, rectangular one. I was met with red and gold leather binding.

            “Special edition The Great Gatsby!?” It was my favorite novel, definitely top three. It was the only book I loved that I didn’t own, but had been holding out for a special copy.  I had spent hours upon hours combing through estate sales, garage sales, and flea markets in Phoenix searching for a copy that spoke to me, and I had never told Edward that. I looked at him with disbelieving, brimming eyes. “How did you know?” A mischievous smirk crept over his lips.

            “It was missing from your collection,” he said simply, shrugging.

            “Edward!” I shoved his shoulder gently, “this isn’t a random paperback copy you got from Borders, this is a leather-bound Special Edition with…” I flipped open the cover page to see his neat, meticulous writing, “a very meaningful inscription. This is not a five-dollar used book, Edward. This is an expensive, special edition copy of my very favorite book. How. Did. You. Know?” I couldn’t help the swell of love for this wonderfully thoughtful, copper-headed guy in front of me that bubbled in my chest, but I had to know.

            “I have my ways,” he shrugged again, his smile growing.  I quirked my eyebrow with expectation.  “I called your mom, ok? Shit, Bella, trying to get you a meaningful gift is like searching for the Lost fucking Arc or some shit,” he teased. “I wanted to get you something meaningful, ok?” he sighed.  I knew I exhausted him; I was ruining this perfect gift. I was so fucked up sometimes. I just couldn’t believe the amount of effort and thoughtfulness that he put into my gift. I felt undeserving.

            “I know what you mean,” I muttered sheepishly, retrieving the wrapped frame I had gotten him from the bag. “Here.” I sat back on my heels, anxious. “And the book? It’s perfect Edward. Perfect,” I smiled and his face lit up with genuine euphoria. “Thank you,” I murmured against his cheek.

            Edward took his offered present with careful reserve and peeled back the layers of wrapping nearly as slowly as I had. The silver of the frame reflected brightly in his eyes as the already arresting grin on his face grew larger. “Bella,” he nearly whispered, greens connecting to my browns, wide with some overwhelming emotion. “I love it,” he said simply before passionately launching at me. Our lips connected before his body had me pinned to the couch under him. His hands roamed my body freely after his frame and my book were safely stowed on the coffee table beside us.  Minutes passed quickly before we broke for air; and I swear to god, if I hadn’t been in such need for oxygen I would have had sex right there with him, right then on that couch.

            Hovering over me on his forearms, Edward searched my face for an answer to a question he was internally debating.  I thumbed his kiss-swollen lips, biting my own and relishing in the sweet, dull pain it elicited. I wanted to be ravished, just as much as Edward wanted to ravish me. For surely that was the question he was debating, right? Should he? Should we, right here with our entire families waiting down below? It was all I could think about with my heart bumping hormone-filled blood to the very sensitive, swollen parts of my body that longed for his touch and more.

            “Do you have any idea how much I love you?” he finally asked once our breathing had returned to near-normal. The sound of his voice made me ache in those parts I desired him most. Blinking, I fought to make my own thoughts coherent enough to be translated into words.

            “I know how much I love you,” I forced out with my lust-scratchy voice, “and if it’s anything like the way you love me, then I know how soul consuming it is.” My hips bucked against his against my own accord, searching for friction I so desperately needed. Edward chuckled and I felt my cheeks stain with blood. How did I even have enough to spare? I was pooling with desire.

            “Sugar,” his velvet poured over me. “I want to show you how deeply, and depravedly at times, I love you,” he paused to wink, and oh what that wink did to me, “but I do not quite think that now is the right time…” I would have felt such extreme shame and rejection had I not truly known that this was not, in fact, the right time for us to consummate our love. That time was swiftly approaching, but had not yet arrived.

            “I know,” I pouted lightly. “Sometimes I can’t help my physical reactions to you.” It was the most naked of truths. Hm, naked.

            “And I for you,” he admitted, stroking the sides of my face, gently cupping it between both hands. “I just want you to know how much I love and respect you. I’ve never, ever, felt anything remotely like this for another person and it’s baffling and overwhelming. I don’t want to fuck it up, and I’ll do my damndest not to. Just know that my life is yours. You are my soul.” The intimacy of his words as he cradled me while still on top of me was nearly overwhelming in the most satisfying of ways. It was the best Christmas present he could have gotten me… in addition to the Special Edition copy of The Great Gatsby. I felt more naked than I had been while fooling around, more vulnerable than I had been while awaking in a hospital bed disoriented, and yet more alive than any moment of my life prior and I was utterly comfortable.

Being this emotionally connected was as natural as breathing to me.

            He had shared my darkness with me and I with him, and now he was sharing his light.  It was breathtaking.

.::.