Chapter 9
BPOV
The next morning I awoke with a pounding headache and immediately regretted drinking all day on Wednesday. I ran to the bathroom to fill a cup of water and guzzled down several of them along with a few Advil, thinking I could hydrate the headache away. I got ready for school and packed everything from the day before except my flask. It was a useful sleep aid but I felt like a lush using it to numb my everyday school experience. Downstairs, Charlie was doing his usual, as I did mine, while waiting for Emmett to do his. Was this why I came to Forks? Predictability? It did make me forget, however, about the lingering ice in my veins and subtle hatred of most things. The rest of the day passed by in a self-induced fog. It was the only way I could tolerate the fools of Forks. Lunch, however, was always a bittersweet time. I enjoyed the company of people I felt to be real, but still felt I was putting on a bit of a front.
"Ok, so Bella, here's the plan for after school: You and I are going to ditch last period to go to Seattle to do some shopping! We'll stop at some shops for every-day stuff, and then hit up some places to look for your party-dress. Ok?" Alice wasn't really asking; it was just a polite formality. "Oh! I also made you hair appointment for five o'clock at Salon Blast. It's my pre-birthday present to you!" Alice's chipper attitude and genuine excitement about a trivial shopping trip even made an apathetic girl like me somewhat excited.
"Alice, you really don't have to do that. I have money—"
"Nonsense! So it's all set." Alice smiled. She went back to talking in whisper tones with Rosalie about party details. The boys were having their own conversation so I was left to space out while eating my usual banana. I should have known that I could never be left to my own devices for long; it shouldn't have startled me when Edward started to speak to me.
"Bella," Edward started, pausing when I jumped a bit in my seat. "Aren't you just thuuuper exthited for girlz-night?" Edward lisped. I giggled at his attempt to be effeminate. "So, are you drunk today?" He asked. I vehemently shook my head.
"Of course not!" I replied.
"Good."
"Well, don't you just think you're so funny?" As I spoke, he quirked an eyebrow at me and the ice in my veins started to thaw.
"Well, I made you laugh, didn't I?" He retorted, keeping up with our usual banter.
"The thing is, Edward," I was surprised at how much pleasure I got out of saying his name. "You don't know if I was laughing with you, or at you. But, you can let your ego think whatever it wants. It's ok. It'll be our little secret." I teased.
"I love sharing secrets with you." He winked. I never fully realized how that wink did things to me. Oh god, this has got to stop. I can't… I can't just start liking talking to him like that!
The bell sounded, dismissing us again from another lunch. Saved by the bell, I thought and then chided myself for being so corny. Shit! What was Edward doing to me! Then, out of the corner of my eye I saw some red-headed girl coming up to Edward and me while we were packing up our stuff.
"Edward," She called, "Could I talk to you for a minute?"
He and I both whirled around to see this girl. I recognized her as one of the jean-skirt sluts that were drunker than I was at the bonfire. I looked from her face to Edward's in curiosity. His was full of what seemed to be anger and frustration. Did I detect a hint of embarrassment? He noticed that I was looking at him with interest.
"Uhm… Bella, this is, er, Tanya. Tanya—Bella," he tersely stated. Something was amiss here because Edward was acting very strange.
"Hi." I said, feigning politeness.
"Oh, hi Bella," Tanya responded. Wow, someone had their g-string in a bunch.
"I'll meet you in class, Ok Bella?" Edward asked, actually asked.
"Yeah. Ok. See ya. Oh, and it was nice to meet you, Tara, was it?" I said.
"Tan-ya," she replied, annoyed. Well, my work was done here, so I headed to Biology.
The bell rang for class to start and Edward was nowhere to be seen. I really wanted to know who this Tanya chick was. No one in our group had ever mentioned her. Although, she did seem like she fit into the stalker-crowd that followed my new group of friends around. She wasn't really that important to me so I let it be, attempting to listen to Mr. Banner's lecture. A few minutes later when he finished, he passed around worksheets that we were supposed to work on with our lab partners. Mine was missing. Instead of being productive, I asked for the bathroom pass as to waste time until Edward arrived.
I roamed the hallways of the school, looking for the girl's bathroom I had yet to use. In my peripheral vision I saw a couple leaning against some lockers in a corner of the hallway. My interest was piqued. I subtly looked at the two and instantly recognized them: Tanya and Edward. She had him pinned against the lockers, practically throwing herself at him. I didn't have enough time to read his expression because he spotted me.
"Oh—Bella, I this isn't—" Edward stammered uncharacteristically. He was usually one with words. Tanya looked at me with such disdain and clear hatred.
"Yes it is," I heard Tanya whisper to him as Edward stumbled for words.
"I was just going to the bathroom!" I cut them off, awkwardly. I didn't know what he thought I was doing. Spying on him, perhaps? I ran back to bio, extremely uncomfortable with what just happened. I was filled with an unknown emotion, one I was neither familiar with or OK with. I calmed my breathing and stepped into class, placing the hall-pass at the chalkboard before taking my seat in the back. My cheeks were flushed, not from the running but from the thing I was feeling. I couldn't put a name to it… I immediately disliked Tanya, the way she just looked at Edward… My insides were turning. I was angry and … sad with Tanya. That couldn't be right… Holy shit! Was I jealous! I had always thought that jealousy was an inferior emotion and had never felt it before. I had no right to feel it now! Instantly, I was pissed with myself.
Suddenly Edward appeared at the door and walked to our lab table. He muttered an apology to Mr. Banner as he took his seat. I didn't look at him; I couldn't—not now—not knowing that I felt jealous. He leaned over our table, with his elbows on it, while his right index finger and thumb pinched the bridge of his nose. He looked stressed, well, as far as I could tell from my not-looking-at-him. I decided that sitting back here with the elephant between us wasn't going to do any good, so I started to work on the worksheet we were supposed to be doing. A few minutes later, after his shoulders had lowered from their previous anxiety-rigid pose, Edward withdrew a pen and piece of paper from his backpack.
Bella, I'm sorry… about that. But, it's not what you think; He wrote and slid the sheet over to me.
It's ok. Whatever. Do what you want. I replied.
Tanya… she's still obsessed with me. I broke up with her last week before the bonfire and she's still on my nuts, trying to get back with me, which won't happen. What! They dated? Unconscious nausea filled my stomach.
Edward, it's fine. No need to explain. You're a free man, do what you want. I repeated. I was trying like hell to disguise the jealousy I felt, now that I knew about it. He scribbled something else down, but I refused to look at it. Instead, I focused my attention again on the worksheet that was due at the end of the period. I finished right before the bell rang, and handed it into Mr. Banner, all without looking at my lab partner, who was supposed to help, but didn't (in no small part due to my blatant ignoring tactics).
Outside of my class, Alice stood, vibrating with excitement. Even a deaf, dumb, and blind person would be able to tell that Alice truly lived for shopping. She was sort of a contradiction in herself: the girls that lived to shop back in Phoenix had been devoid of a personality or any redeeming qualities, but Alice had a fabulous personality and all of the redeemable qualities the other girls' lacked combined.
"Ready Bella?" Alice asked. I nodded, and couldn't help but let a little smile escape. "Alright, then let's go!" She led me to the yellow Mini-Cooper that was parked in the parking lot for the first time all week. Alice would have a sun-shiny yellow car. Driving with a lead-foot, mini Alice sped to Seattle in her mini car. We chatted easily about non-important things the way there, filling up the time with our easy-friendship as I truly enjoyed being light-hearted and care-free with Alice.
With Alice's speed driving and unique knowledge of short-cuts, we arrived in Seattle about two hours and forty-five minutes after departing Forks. Since it was only three-forty-five, Alice chose for us to hit-up some boutiques before my hair appointment. We browsed, Les Amis, Show Pony, and Bliss: all of which we each carried out two bags easily, before heading across the highway to my appointment at Salon Blast. I had to admit, I was having fun being girly with Alice. She took me into stores that I considered unique and unpretentious. I was beginning to realize that Alice knew me better than I thought she did. At one point she even scolded me for holding back on a purchase that I considered to be to dressy for me (even though it was only a cotton, v-cut pale pink shirt, with one layer of ruffles around the neckline). She exclaimed, "Bella, if you're going for a certain look—you might as well go for it all the way! You're probably one of the few that could pull off the indie, I-don't-care-but-I-still-look-fabulous style."
Because of my long-hair, it took an hour and a half for a cut and streaked color. I kept it long, but it seemed more edgy than before: choppy, with a hint of side-swept bangs with only a few streaks of vivid red. Alice, of course, picked it out but I loved it intensely. It was the outward me to match the inward me that I had been missing for a while. True to her word, Alice paid for every penny of the appointment, except for the tip, which I vehemently insisted on paying myself. After our time at the salon, we stopped and picked up sandwiches quickly before heading back to Forks. I was thoroughly exhausted from all this time and money spent on looking-good—something I was definitely not used to.
About ten minutes into our ride home to Forks, Alice brought up a new topic of discussion. "Bella, just so you know: I know about the accident… Jasper and Rose both confided in me. I hope you don't mind that they did, but I just wanted to tell you that I know and understand." I only looked at her in awe and shock, but she continued. "You know, you can talk to me about it if you ever needed to. No pressure, or anything; I just know that going through something like that and keeping it bottled up can be tough." It was surreal the way my Phoenix life and my Forks live were now suddenly colliding in this car ride.
"Uhm, thanks Alice. No, I'm not mad at them… I figured you knew."
"Do you want to talk about it?" She asked, easily broaching this topic I refused to even think about on a daily basis, let alone talk about it.
"Not right now. But, when I do, I'll talk to you. Thanks, though." I replied. I heard in my voice the dullness that had been there after the accident—the dullness that I tried to hide from everyone.
"Do you know how Edward and I came to be brother and sister?" Alice asked, rapidly changing the subject of the conversation. I gently shook my head no, so she continued. "My dad and mom got divorced when I was three. Apparently he used to beat her, but I have no memories of it. She's a strong woman though, and doesn't put up with shit like that." It was the first time I had ever heard Alice swear. It was sort of empowering, in a way. "After they were divorced, and I was about… eight, Esme, my mom, met Edward's dad Carlisle in a furniture store in Seattle. They hit it off immediately: finding their new counterpart in the other. Two years later they were married. Life, after my mom meeting Carlisle, became stable and happier. Carlisle adopted me as Esme adopted Edward. We've been our own little happy family since."
"I had no idea," I offered. "I'm sorry to hear about your dad…"
"Thanks, but that's ok. He's only biological. My true dad is Carlisle. I had the easiest and happiest transition to our new life: I had grown up for those few years without a father-figure. Edward, on the other hand, had had a mother: one that he was very fond of."
"What happened to her?" I asked. I could tell that this fairy-tale-like story was about to take a darker turn.
"I'm not trying to speak for him, but I'm just going to tell you the facts, ok?" She clarified. I nodded again, in agreement for her to continue. "When Edward was about two, his mother—Elisabeth I think her name was—became pregnant again and miscarried. She was in a lot of pain and became deeply depressed. The pain medication that she was on was strong and she easily became addicted. Apparently she battled with the addiction for a year before she went to rehab. Carlisle, ever the doctor, made her get routine check-ups for everything, trying to monitor her health post-addiction. A year after her stint in rehab, they found stage four intestinal cancer despite her timely evaluations. She died three months later when Edward was almost five," Alice finished. I was frozen with empathy for Edward and his father, whom I'd never met. My heart ached, and went out to Edward. Alice eyed my expression and started to talk again. "What I'm trying to convey, Bella, is that Edward and I understand complicated. You're in good company, and I hope that maybe you'll let us in someday."
"I don't know what to say…," I finally said a few minutes later. "I feel so horribly for Edward and Carlisle." She nodded, appreciating the sentiments.
"I know you're hell-bent on hating my step-brother. After all, he can be a cocky ass sometimes, but he's got a good heart underneath it all. He is the way he is so people can't see his weaknesses… as I'm sure you can relate to." That surprised me, I didn't hate, hate Edward. I just… easily became frustrated by his cocky, I'm-the-shit attitude.
"Yea, I can, but I don't hate him, Alice." I replied.
"Ok, but you aren't necessarily fond of him in the way he's fond of you."
"What do you mean?" I was deeply confused, now.
"Just think about it. That's all," she concluded. "Now, moving on from such a serious topic, on Saturday: I want you to wear that navy blue cotton-wrap with the frills around the hem. No questions about it: that's your birthday party outfit." Her tinkling-laughter filled the car as my own giggles joined her.
"Alright, Alice, whatever you say."
